我。。开窍了。。

今天，我无意中抄出以前的日记file。。

里面有很多很多的回忆。。erm。。

+ 污迹~哈哈

其实我很想对你们说谢谢。。JOMYFLYNOX

看过日记的每一张，每一页都有我们的回忆

form1 form2 form3 的日子真的很开心，但我笨。

我对不起你皇族宝贝，对不起你们，对不起我自己

我觉得那些过去真的是我的阴影。。

我一点都不想换回什么。。我觉得很‘脏’

或许真的说过头了。。我连自己也觉得很脏~

不懂~

那些纸条和回条让我很开心。。

让我想到我们曾经很好很愉快的一起度过

即使没有说出口，但每个人都放在心上。。

老实说，想起写起。。我哭了。。

朋友们。。我爱你们T.T

没有你们我不会度过那么好的每一刻

没有你们我不会长大

没有你们我更不会觉得自己错了

曾经的曾经我错了。我错得离谱错得不可理喻

对不起。。我知错了。。请给我时间改变

我把那些脏东西都烧了。。我希望自己可以重新开始

以前的一切一切都不属于我的，

以后的所有都要属于你们和我的。。

敏：对不起。。我知道我伤过你但请你相信我，不管你还当不当我时好朋友，你，你们都永远摆在第一位永远是我的好朋友

毛毛：虽然我们一起度过的比较少，但我们之间的价值不会少过任何人。以后的日子会有更多的我们和大家

楣楣：曾经的‘老公’，看到纸条我有吓到。你竟然可以陪我一起疯T.T 你说过每次你想到我webcam的猪样都会笑起来，我希望我们以后什么事都可以一起笑着

frog：谢谢你在我神经失常时做出一些怪怪+好笑的事情让我觉得我还有你。。也暂时会忘记烦恼。。认识你真是我修来的福

shling：虽然我们很少来往但我希望我们能维持像现在偶尔发简讯聊天，知道彼此的状况，关心一下对方。

仪：谢谢你那么好心的听我抱怨老听我诉苦，我知道有很多事情都是我逼你听进耳朵的。对不起，让你耳朵受罪了。。我以后会多说开心的事来补偿你的耳朵的。。对不起。。

湘：谢谢你每次帮我做工。只有你会帮我分担。。谢谢你

dean：一直以来你都是默默聆听的那一个中一到中三虽然我们都不同班，但你会常过来问我过得好吗会心情之类的事情。。中四那年我们最最多话，可能是抱着一样的心情和压力吧。。但，你远远都比我好>.<谢谢你陪我度过。。

秀秀：其实我很想跟你说对不起的。。只是死爱面子而已。。。我没有讨厌你，只是当时真的很气你那么重视那个人，没有你陪我走路回家我真的会不习惯，没有你坐在我们食堂的圈圈里，就好像少了一个round about。。几希望我们还有机会那样聚集在一起。。

其实，不止是我你们应该也忘不了一个人。。央央~
她虽然很deng，越变越废，讲话越来越奇怪但，是她一直陪我度过一切，是她被我骂了也不会怨，是她让我决定做主，是她在我需要人时都会出现。。也是她守住大家的秘密，即使多好她也不会漏口，当偶尔我想起她只是我们gang中的一个朋友时，就会让我想起我们怎么保护她不让她被ah loe和shu hwa欺负。才发现她虽然傻但我们也是很在乎她。。央，对不起。。

没有你们，我5年的生活将是空白，没有敏我就没有今天的全部，没有蛙人，yii和央我不会坚持走下去，没有xom我不会那么开心，没有meimei，shling和湘我更不知道自己要的事什么。。朋友。。对不起，请你们原谅我的过错也谢谢你们给过我的美好，我爱你们！！

april~

set free~~haha ^.^
is the last week of april d ..omg omg
what i have done n what had happened?
hmm..we went singgapore until 6th then celebrated 18th with our 'ginna'
she's elder than most of us..but she looks like a ginna>.<
don't scold me hehehx
then work work work until yesterday..
actually working is fun~u can meet more friends,make fun n know more about the reality
mandy,a colleque of mine.she was borned in a rich family
but her dad bankrup last few year,then she started work n earn money for her family
she was nice but i don't like the way she telling of her love story
yerrrrrrr~never aspect someone will talk to me like this..
she said this all was experience i'll experience it soon~
erm..but then no need to tell me how to ngik ngek or what ever style gua..
DAMN GELI!!!wrong number d la...duihx =.=
stupid brayand keep call me 'da' beh tahan nia.
mimi scold him because of his [chicken backside]
wahahahaha he's too geli to call everyone 'da' here 'da' there@.@
he likes to shout of 'DA' from far..then everyone look at me because of the sharp yellow T
sia sui nia =.= when i talk to handsome he likes to stands beside..
si ah nya TIN DEI!!!!!
k stop..
i was SO SO SO SO SO THE HAPPY when momo tan called me yesterday
i was thinking when will be the next gathering for jomyflyno to meet up again~
then tu tu ho she call me from back.
oh gosh!!! kiam kiamT.T hahaha crazy leh~
511???hmm...waiting ~~

wanna know my 'weird' habit??

worked at queensbay today~
insurance again~~damn sien leh..
today don't have any donut d..that't why some people not willing to help me d T.T
forget about that~haha *ignoring~
hmm..suddenly felt that quite many T in digi
all pop out one shot..kia si lang..
but the situation change d..so ma si aneh nia lo=.=
hahahaha..suddenly become so tough~aishyeh
hope i'll continue my 'journey' without looking back..
gambateh!!!!!wahahhaahah~
today i was given a very bad name from the stupid brayand@@
2nd joan..so gai..i don't like the name at all..so rude~
it's not suitable for those who are educated>.<
not praising myself but is the truth..
whatever~hahaha..
i just realised that i got a weird habit...
but it's quite shy to tell of here..just ask from me if u wanna know what's that..
wahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahah
so shy~~=.=

♥ sports!!!!

went for basketball today~
hmm..BEST LO!!!
i got a long long long time didn't sweat until wet from inner to outer >.<
i like that feeling~syoknya!
don't say i bian tai please..is normal k..
to those who LOVE SPORTS ~
wao~~perasaan@.@
hhhahaz~finally i met jia bao today..
wow..is a pro badminton player as cherlyn
she's nice n cool..can mix up with her easily then chit chat around
*is my opinion la of cause
she tought im good in basketball because of my height??hhahahah
she said i have a atheletic face..omg omg!!
so paiseh...don't let her know i got nothing =.=
how best is the feeling after some exercise..
it set my mind free from all bad things n prepare for work tomorrow!!
hahahz~pity i..but something i have to change is my attitude + personality..
is a big problem for me to face everythings..
i hope i can do it well n change it in a short period!!
please .......*begging the god to help me T.T
erm~hope cherlyn like the present^.^
n thx for dropped me at home before u all going out..aligato~
enjoy the sticky n smelly smells~~
yuckss hahahhaha

一种习惯

如果‘爱’是一种习惯，那又什么办法能改掉一个所谓的‘习惯’？

已经不明白更不懂自己为了什么而忘不了。。。

我知道说出来只会让你们觉得

‘都那么久了’。。就是放不下嘛。。

长到那么大，我只真正醉过2次

并不是骄傲而是痛苦。。才没必要炫耀。。

第一次是雅静的生日，说好一人2支的他玩起game来什么都忘了。。

那晚喝了快3支。。第一次有走路歪歪斜斜的 *尝试

至少喝了还会有人担心，即使被骂也是甜的。。

昨晚的派对让我有情不自禁的年头，喝了一些回来后又开始大喝。

哈哈~真谢谢阿姨的timing准拿了那么多过来。。

昨天的晚上特别长，想的事情特别多。。

其实我真的有很傻，平时都是在装聪明装厉害~

一次又一次的失败难道真的还值得一试吗？

我并没有抱着玩玩的心情啊。。

还是我并不好？让他们都那样对我？

那些习惯很难改的你们懂吗。。辛苦。。

向谁说才对？会明白？会体会吗？

还是说‘你很笨的’。。。

我也希望我可以像你们那样啊。。

可是我有机会吗？回忆，它很难被遗忘。。

更难被抹掉，但为什么却只有一个人被逼去承担？

闭上眼睛就会浮现那些因该被遗忘的东西，

谁可以教我，我该怎么做才可以真正放下+不要在去想？？

累

缘分是什么？
我觉得我讨厌它，因为没有得拥有所有我讨厌
不管什么事都觉得我少了它。。
今天。。心情不好~
老实说在很不开心的时候什么事情都会变差，
觉得自己少了什么的。。。
我真的超讨厌现在的生活，
整天这样无所事事真的真的很累人。。
辛苦~累了。。。很想流泪。。
哈哈~今天应该开心才对的不是吗？
怎么了。。
有些话，到了嘴边还是说不出。。
我很累。。对不起。。
因为自己的事拖累大家。。
我该怎么办？
离不开。。也放不下。。
你知道吗。。我爱我的床，更爱我房间，
但。。现在我一定会等到很累很累了才回房睡觉，
要在眼睛快闭上的那一刻再躺下去。。
不想要提醒自己更不想要回到过去
我真的很辛苦T.T

happy?sad?

i bought somethings today~!
n im DAMN HAPPY WITH THOSE THINGS>.<
yea~yea~i luv it..
but then she seems like having another one..
im so beh syok with that!!
hmm...jing birthday party on sat,jerry hotel stay on sat,
leo idol on sunday,jess birthday also~~
haiz....all crash....BORING~
choosing??hmm...i need not to do so..
my dad help me to choose d..
no need to attend all activity!!
oh!!i HATE that!!seriously......
so mo yan..
im not the type of ppl who can stay quitely at home
haiz..so im the one who always quarrel with my parents
because my dad was so strict to us
pity i..

hate giant~

work in giant today~
damn sad u know...
i missed up sushi king qith frog,dean n mo..
n giant got no customers+no delicious foods T.T
sien ka beh hiao kong =.=
im so sorry to [all best],mayb i too'dai sui' d...
don't have any lines today =.= too bad...haiz~
hmm..i ate 2 set of sandwiches n a bread in a day
ba bao bin...quite fat..but bo huat...giant's food court is so XXXX
thx uncle ada,kyang n uncle khoo's phone call~
u all make me awake~hahahahz
especially ada..you de mei de..kek si wa>.ngai till 10pm..finally can go home d~yea yea
uncle bought durianSS for me~~omg omg!!excited!!
i was so so so so so so nuin today..
mayb it was late night d + didnt eat proper meals
hmm...amnuaychai told me his dad died last night..
im quite shocked with that then after the explaination..
i just can say..everyone will leave this world one day...
it just depends on the toughness to the patient n luck of the people
so...don't think too much d la..kua kui liao la~
hahahz..sorry..
suddenly think of a song....

60 EARTH hoURSS

i ♥ caramel >.< *collection hahahaz

I LOVE CAREMEL~!!

p/S :thx pei san who put alot of caremal on top of my coffee

n 1 miss u so much >.<

i dunno what to do la!!

other is'' good good good night'' but im in a ''bad bad day!''
damn shit!!!so so so the angry!
at 1st i told my mum im going to meet my ns friend at queens,
then i asked kyang to accompany me..
she promised to go with me but she late..
as she take car,go petrol station then only come to pick me up~
im so so so suprised when she said she pick me up BY CAR
i just go out with her after take all my things
a lot of cars horn us due to the slowerness of the car n she started panic aftet the horn
hmm..serioulsy im just shocked with the horning but im ok after that..
but the drvier NOT THAT OK..she ate the MCD mcflurry with her 'shaking hands'
*laughing..she still recall back all those scene
n finally she rush to the toilet =.=
after meet up,have lunch n take photos with them..
we DEPARTURE again..is slightly better than the 1st time d..
frog pick me up then we go gurney to see JJ LIM!!
after chit chating,she drop me at home as usual
is around 9.15pm
once i stepped in my house,my dad called me
after u bathed then go to their room
he scold me!!he said i went out for 9 hours!
too long d!!what im doing outside *out of his vision
stupid!!
what u aspect me to do??my brain containing shit but im not that shit to do all those shit things ok?!
please la.....please use a proper way to communicate to everyone
not everyone can accept the way u use n u like..
everyone got their own rights!
haiz..although i catched what he going to tell me but i will not look down when he quarrel with me..
im really really angry!!

http://www.kwongwah.com.my/news/2010/04/09/22.html

think of her again..
haiz~
ah du...
why u wanna do so?
why u wanna commit suicide??
some more the reason is "love"
.......i planned to go pc fair within this few day,
meet ep n midpoint promoter..
wanna ask them whether j.co donut nice or not..
wanna call me dar or not..
but i don't have the chance to ask ah du d T.T
when i saw her photo in the newspaper..
my tears dropped..
how can a people do so without considering everything..
she's bleeding.... :(

永远的阿杜

敏在我熟睡中来了一通电话，
问我阿杜是不是姓‘杜’
那时真的很stim只说了不知道，
挂了电话看到有封简讯，蛙人问我有没有看报纸。。
放了电话心有很不舒服。。
翻来翻去的我有很不详的预感。。睡不着了
上网check online 报纸。。。。
果然让我看到我不想看到的新闻
你知道吗。。第一页没有出现熟悉的名或脸孔让我紧了一下，
应该不是什么事了。。
结果第二页就是‘中性女子与亲密女友吵架坠楼’
T.T 读完文章后看到阿杜的照片。。
我一直在想爱情真的有那么厉害吗？
它真的可以让你因为一个人的感情而自私的不顾别人的感受吗？
我刚才还跟朋友聊开他们的话题，
预料会在pc fair碰见他们还可以聊几句。。。
只是没想到那一次聊天竟然是我们最后一次说话了。。
阿杜。。你拿来的勇气去跳楼？你怎么那么不怕死？？
感觉很痛吗？还是心痛了没有地方人让你疗伤。。
我这次有很不后悔因为交了你这个朋友
donut好吃吗？。。我还真的不后悔拿donut的coupon给你
哈哈~凡是都有解决的路啊。。怎么那么傻？
以后工作看不到你会不会让我一直想起？。。。
你怎么可以那么勇敢。。。
你才21岁干嘛要这样放弃自己？值得吗？
我。。。也想看看让你那么多愁善感的女生是谁。。
不懂是不是我带衰运给你，让一个个朋友就这样走了
这一年里，你已经死第3个了。。
朋友们：
请不要轻易的说要离开，也不要轻易的放弃自己
讨厌我没关系不想看到我也没关系，
大不了就闪远一点让你看不到就好
请不要离开。。。。

ouR tRIp~~

hey yoyo yoyoyo~
im back from s'pore!!
gosh..
this is thE FIRST TIME i travel with my friend=.=
gosh i luv KG.EUNOS,aunty mon's house
it's really really syok in that house
how good if i can stay with them >.<
DREAMING
but then im quite tired with the stairs..
*sick of my house stairs case d hahah
hmm..i was miss up 3days time mixing with them
1st 2nd n 3rd day shopped n played
4th day when aunty saloon then
5th acc my uncle n aunty..although they bought something for me but im juz..hmm
sorry..but after think properly..i luv them!!hahahha
6th back to the saloon to dye my hair n treatment
then keep called them..wanna meet them but they forgot to bring phone~
haiz..forget it..then went SimLimTower at night to ''decorate'' my lappy>.<
wahahahaha happy happy~
this is the 1st time i own a laptop
skin,screen protector+auto fan..
the last day of our trip
woke up early in the morning, keep all my things n prepare to go airport
went kg.eunos to fetch American Next TOP MODELS
then shopped again~hahahahah
changi airport..wow..terminal is so the big
but unfortunately i got no enough money d
just bought some choco n a CROCS hp case
my god..it only cost $10 if convert to RM also not that expensive..
it's around RM25 but not more than RM30
but M'sia sell around RM45..
THEY EARN SO MUCHHHHHHHH!!
reach home sleep=.=

旧病复发

今天跟阿姨去逛街，
uncle买了一双nike保鞋给我。。
天~$179 耶！！
我怎么一点也不开心？？
唉。。没心情~~
是我自己作贱自己。。
STUPID!!!!
我真的不知道自己在做什么更不懂自己想要什么。。
讨厌！也很恨自己 T.T
我需要一个心理医生。。
严重病了。。。