life

haih...
as a 'professional' psychologist or counsellor,
i should psycho myself and comfort myself that i have already done my best for everything.
i've tried my best in doing everything...
i knew im not smart as other, i study hard, i really do..
although i had catch up with some pointer which i kinda satisfied with
as sikis sikit lama jadi bukit,
if i keep on pay  effort ,i knew the cgpa will increase slowly.
but... life wasn't that easy
i almost lost contact with the world which i dislike this the most!
i don't like to be isolated and the feeling of lonely..
there was an incident and make me realized that it was my fault
as i didn't update myself with them and other do not responsible to inform me for everything.
i felt sorry and sad...and i decided to take some actions.
i successfully build the bond and feel more comfort with that.
until i went back this cny,
is this my fault again? or i over think again?
why i have so many irrational beliefs ?..............
i couldn't feel the warmness that we ever had last time.
mayb we didnt't talk much n it makes me felt like "this is not us"
somehow i can't really take it when she say something bad to me.
i know we are not those friends out there but....
i can't say anything as i knew u r just joking but it makes me feel sad
and i don't know how to persuade myself to take it easy.
life is always miserable~
things and people will always change
hi bye friends mean nothing to me.
i want true friends who understand each other well..
i always feel that people who said ' i hate to grow up' 'i want the time back' are childish
and now.....i think they are right.
human tend to stay in the past which they think that it is the best moment they ever had.
so do i.....