i don't want to become cacat

my knee injured again~
i was cried in the toilet about 1 hour + because i can't even stand up after i fell down..
haih~wondering when will it happen again..
im SCARE
at 1st i thought i carry the heavy vaccum cleaner and cause my back pain
but after i fell down, i realised that was a symptom before the knee crack
it just like what had happened last 3 years..
i cant forget how the painness once i think of the scene
im only 17+ and this will follow me for another N years
it is so suffering.what im going to do the next?
should i go to consult doctor next week or wait for 1 more week until holiday?
i scare the doctor ask me to operate,as he told me before,
if my knee doesn't recover or become worst he might encourage me to operate
then i need to rest for half year only can step on the stairs and 2/3years to play sport
this will kill me as well~half year cannot use stairs!!!
scare...
*my body become a stupid S shape when i walk!!!cant even stand properly
shui r...